April 13, 2014*: Wildcat Canyon Regional Park

This was my second trip to Wildcat Canyon.  The week before, I went with a few friends, and while it was good to catch up, I wanted to return on my own and take in the trails in silence.  I have to admit at this point, how nervous I was to hit a trail on my own.  Just two months ago, I left my first long-term relationship, and I've been worried about developing my own interests again, building a life, and maintaining it.  I have not been used to living my life on my own for years, and I didn't know if I could do it.  If I could keep it up.  The thought of building a full life and a full personality completely detached from the ex has kept my brain pretty scrambled.  However, I knew that I had to try.  I had to take these first steps, build a solid foundation for my new life.

I had planned to take the exact same route as the week before, as it clocked in at just a little over 6 miles, according to my GPS, and was sufficiently ass-kicking terrain while also being varied, and downright beautiful.  As noted in my first post, we had originally followed the route outlined in Jane Huber's blog.  Here's the link for that particular hike on her site, for anyone interested.

I started in the Alvarado Staging Area (the parking lot) and from there walked up the paved road to the first trail junction.  At the junction, I stayed right to follow Wildcat Creek Trail, but could have gone left on Belgum Trail.  Wildcat Creek curves around and stays relatively flat, minus a few small dips and peaks.  After roughly a mile and a half, Wildcat Creek meets Mezue Trail on the left.  Mezue (the pronunciation of this baffles me - is it Me-ZOO? Me-ZWAY? I wonder if rangers argue about this, I bet they do) hits an ascent immediately.  It is long, and long in the way that you see exactly how far up you have to go, which can be both blessing and curse. It's the kind of hill (for me anyway) that immediately fills me with dread and regret that I ever left my apartment.  But it's beautiful, or at least it was as it has been raining.  Normally, rolling hills in the bay area are brown and kinda scratchy looking.  But after the rains, these hills put Ireland to shame.  Mezue is a delight, and I needed to stop multiple times on my way up to catch my breath but also to take in the endless green of it.

It was on this second trip to Wildcat that I again felt that rush of dread and regret upon first laying eyes on the ascending Mezue Trail, and even when the burn in my chest forced me to stop the first time, it was on this second trip that I met that dread head on.  Normally on a hill like that I stare at the top the whole way up, as if I could will my body to float effortlessly to the crest.  I burn daggers with my eyeballs, and only feel loathing for the terrain, and myself for causing myself such horrible anguish (slight discomfort tends to turn me into a three year old, apparently).  This trip, though, I only watched the trail in front of me.  Not because it was particularly rocky or slippery, but because I was starting to understand that coveting that crest would do nothing for me.  The only thing that would serve me in any way would be to regulate my breath, and put one foot down at a time.  What I found was remarkable - the realization that in mindfully taking each step one at a time, I would get to the top, was not a surprise.  I would have gotten to the top regardless.  Even when I'm regressing to toddlerhood, I still go forward.  But I'm miserable.  Taking each step slowly, carefully, and methodically, without focusing on the payout or end result, was light years more enjoyable.

I still needed to stop a few times, but when I did - I shit you not - I caught my breath easier.  I got back to the trail quicker.  And then I got to the top.  And it was just as easy as that.  Ok, not easy - like I said I'm in bad shape, and a smoker.  But it was easier.

Mezue wraps around the ridge for about 1.3 miles, until it hits San Pablo Ridge Trail on the left.  Except this time, I got caught up in thought as I was walking, and completely missed the turnoff for San Pablo.  About a tenth of a mile later, I found the turnoff for Old Nimitz Way, which I thought was San Pablo, so followed blindly without checking my map or anything.  After about a half mile on Nimitz, I finally noticed that this was not the trail we had followed the week before. Not knowing at all where I had actually turned off, I started to panic a little internally.  Should I turn around and retrace my steps to try and get back to San Pablo?  What if I end up miles from the staging area?  Do I have enough water?  What will I use for warmth in the night and should I stay exposed so that the rescue teams can find me?  Seriously.  Just to give you some context about how ridiculous this panic was, Wildcat Canyon Regional Park is roughly 1.5 north to south, and maybe 3.5 miles east to west.  Not the fucking PCT or anything, you know?  Try telling my brain that.

Seriously, though, I got over that pretty quick.  Reason won out, which is always a good thing.  In the end, I decided to just keep going.  Even if I didn't know where I was, there'd be a sign eventually, and I would deal with that information then.  Obviously, this is not sound advice in every situation, but it worked out in this instance.  About another half mile in, I ran into two older men  (the kind who are all decked out in gear with hiking poles, and big floppy hats, you know the ones).  They confirmed that I was indeed on Nimitz, and after consulting my map once more, I saw that I had taken myself about a mile out of my way.  I followed Nimitz, which rolled around the foothills of the ridge, as opposed to San Pablo, which cuts right across the top.  Nimitz eventually what the maps says is Leisure Lane, and then makes a sharp left back to the original trail I was planning on following.

After seeing the junction with San Pablo on the other side, which is where I would have come off the ridge had I been paying attention and took that trail earlier, I felt a relief.  I had been uncertain and nervous, but kept moving and I found my way.

It was at this point, after a few steps further on the trail that I intersected with Belgum Trail, that I started to think about what I wanted to eat for dinner.  This has, historically, been my favorite part of hikes.  When I can see the end in sight, and can start to feel the hunger set in that is really very particular to hiking, and can take some time to think about what would whet that appetite.  Eating after a long hike can take on a holy tone - the feeling of truly nourishing yourself after exertion is a pretty amazing thing.

Hitting Wildcat Creek Trail from Belgum again felt pretty awesome.  For a first solo hike, I was surprised at myself for being more mindful and methodical than I had ever expected I would be.  I took time at the end to stretch well, and I stood by my car and basked in the endorphins flooding my brain while I drank some water.  I slept really well that night.

Total hike distance: 6.84 mi
Increase in elevation: 833 ft
Took me: 2 hrs, 36 min

*As I post my backlog of past hikes, I'll note the date in the title.

An Introduction

In the words of the freshest of princes, my life has recently been flipped turned upside down. I am 30 years old, out of shape, two months out of a sad and heartbreaking relationship, and living on my own for the first time in my life (not counting my cat, who is officially named Mouse, but also goes by fatty, rathead, mouserat, jerk, jerkle, and dickhole, depending on my mood and his behavior).

After my recent breakup, and desperate for not only a clean transition to singledom but also a new serene home where I could recover and get my shit together, I signed a lease on a small studio apartment in Kensington, CA. For those not familiar with Kensington, it sits in the hills just to the north of Berkeley, and just east of El Cerrito. I have found that it's helpful to only pronounce it "Keeensington!" in the style of a hysterical yet composed socialite from England. Probably over 60 years old, is what I'm thinking. It helps that there is a pub here called the Kensington Circus Pub, lending the town a sort of British sensibility. Anyway...

What I mean to say is that Kensington is in the woods. As in, there's a creek in my backyard. I see deer every day. Yesterday I saw a baby deer (are they called fawns or something? Did Disney make that up?). A fucking baby deer!

I've always appreciated hiking, but never did much of it. Growing up in San Francisco, my preferred method of transportation was always walking. I found it a testament to the quality of my life if I had both the time and the energy to walk everywhere. So I tried to prioritize that when possible. I think some assholes probably call that "urban hiking" or some other bullshit. In any event, now I am in a prime location for lots and lots of hiking, and have thus far found time to go for a hike at least once per week in the surrounding areas. The closest parks to me are Tilden Regional Park, and Wildcat Canyon Regional Park. A little further southeast are Redwood Regional Park and Anthony Chabot Regional Park. Even further east is Mount Diablo.

Originally pursued mostly to stave off boredom, I have found some pretty amazing benefits to hiking regularly. I am excited at how much stronger I've gotten in the short time I've been hitting the trails regularly, and I hope to chronicle my physical conditioning in depth in future posts. Beyond the physical conditioning, I have also been pleasantly surprised at the psychological, emotional, and spiritual benefits I am feeling. I hope to describe those in future posts as well.

I have mostly followed Jane Huber's excellent blog: www.bahiker.com. Jane Huber is also the author of 60 Hikes Within 60 Miles: San Francisco: Including North Bay, East Bay, Peninsula, and South Bay. Although most of the hike descriptions have not been updated in several years, the ones I have been on have continued to be fairly accurate, for which the East Bay Regional Parks Department should be given some credit as well. While I have historically relied heavily on this blog to choose hikes, I am also interested in designing hikes of my own, and look forward to sharing some of those here.

So, I suppose I should get writin' about my hikes now! I hope you enjoy reading as much as I am looking forward to sharing my journey here.